| mama musings // just breathe |

Today I woke up and felt heavy, full of doubt in the life decisions I was making, fear in starting a new chapter with our family and confusion in how did I end up here?! Talking Heads anyone, “how did I get here?”

Okay so I know I am not the first working mother to wake up one day and feel completely defeated, but I also know how difficult it can be to talk about. Heck, it’s even difficult without kids. Adult life, it’s tough. It’s how we handle it that can help you avoid being completely devoured by these feelings of anxiety. Funny story, it’s actually becoming a mother that has helped me find a new perspective, and really a new way to conquer these feelings.

I wish I could give a step-by-step solution but I have devised a way to take a step back and try to survive these feelings.

// breathe //

Have you ever noticed that when you get really overwhelmed your whole body can freeze, and your mind goes at such a speed you forget to breathe. You forget to do something your body normally does without thinking!

This morning when I opened my eyes I immediately felt the heaviness of my thoughts of self-doubt “what am I doing? Can I really do this?” This first thing I did was sit up, close my eyes, breathe in slowly through my nose feeling the air fill every millimeter of lungs, then opened my eyes and slowly exhaled. 

My doubts were still there but my mind had calmed and I could start the day thinking clearly.

// change //

I don’t mean change your hair color and good things will come professionally, I mean looking at what your problem you have really is and ask yourself “what can I change today? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year?” 

Great example, I remember talking to husband about feeling frustrated professionally because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled creatively at work. Instead of sitting down and finding a solution I let myself feel less than, like something was lacking. Then my husband said “you need a hobby, something to make you fill that void.”

So then this blog started, I started an Instagram account, and I started working towards a professional goal; to open my own store. I always talked about wanting it, but wasn’t changing my direction towards it. It’s still very far away, but I am hoping in the next month or so to have an Etsy store started to begin testing out my concept…and guess what guys it has me very excited. 

Scared, but excited!

// let go //

The past is in the past, the future is in the future, but today is the only thing that is happening. Having to learn to let go of mistakes I have made, regrets I might have and just be present each day. 

Some days you aren’t going to get something done, instead your daughter will want nothing more than to draw, and throw toys and want to sit in your lap. And guys…that’s okay! 

Do you remember all the laundry your mom didn’t do, the dinners that weren’t crafted or the parenting books that weren’t read? NO! You remember the times your mom, or parent, was there. I want Harper to understand that everything has its time and place, but I want her to remember all the fun and laughs!

// list it //

Baby, when all else fails, make a list. I keep a notebook with me at all times for this purpose. Feeling overwhelmed? Write down what you have to do, and start attacking that list one by one. With every check you will feel lighter and lighter. Ever notice how you can spend more time worrying about what you need to do then actually doing it? It’s amazing what your mind can trick you into wasting time on!

// relax and connect //

Life shouldn’t be so serious, and sometimes we need to sit down with the ones we love and just focus on spending time with each other. It’s a way to realize you have support, get advice, laugh your troubles away and feel like you aren’t alone.

This has been the hardest part for me because I don’t have the same support system that I have had in other cities I have lived in. My husband has to be so much to me, and he does his best, but I know we are working towards getting this part in a better spot.
Stress will always be there, and I know I will feel swallowed by it many times, but I will cope with it. I will not let it weigh me down or keep me from my goals! PHEW! Feeling better already!