| doe & fawn // 10 hidden truths of motherhood |


We all have read the articles prepping us for motherhood, our friends shared advice, words of wisdom were passed down from generations and we signed up for classes prepping us for what this whole “mother” title was going to entail. Yet, it happens with every mom, there is a day you realize it’s nothing like you imagined. Once you think you have figured out this little nugget, they change the game without warning!

My sister recently had a baby, and since moving home where many of my friends share the title mommy, I have found that there were many things we all seemed surprised and shocked by. My best friend shared her daughter peed so much on the floor she learned that diapers are the best way to soak a spill, and she will just replace the carpet after potty training. Or how another friend told me it may be another few years before my boobs lift back up, what?! I also now get calls from my sister on how I handled the title working mom. It amazed me how we all spent 9 month prepping for a practical exam to only realize we still had no clue what we were doing.

While each journey is different, I thought I would share my 10 Hidden Truths of Motherhood. Hopefully they inspire, enlighten and cause a giggle or two! I am thankful everyday that I am Harper’s mother, and can’t wait to add baby number two…just sort of a disclosure…

// Truth One //

From the minute you conceive EVERYONE has an opinion, and you know what they say about those right?! 

It’s amazing how many people would give me advice when I became noticeable pregnant. The cashier at Whole Foods, my client at work, the person standing next to me in line for the bathroom, and it never stopped. Family members always feel entitled to share thier opinions, tell you what you should do, how they did it, how their friend did it, your cousin even. 

Here is the glamorous part, you don’t have to listen to any of it. Do what you feel is best for you and your family. This is your time for your body and child. The perk is there are nuggets of gold in the pile of manure, but you make that decision.

// Truth Two //

Wait, now I really need some help!

The baby is here, but now what do I do?! This is a true story, about me. I took a three hour breast feeding class, I read books, watched nursing videos, and thought I would be a pro! Somehow in all of that no one told me about burping, really I thought it was for bottle-fed kids. Finally I called my mom crying from the hospital, my husband ran down the hall to get a nurse because the baby threw up. Her response, “you burped her right?” After a testy no, I asked her, and then the nurse, how. That’s how it goes, 3 am phone calls to doctors and moms, parenting discussions done at a whisper over a crib between exhausted parents, a frantic google searches…they happen.

I learned then sometimes you have to ask how to do something and swallow your big ‘ole know-it-all pride. Mommy support groups, Facebook chats, and even just saying “hey how did you handle this?” does wonders!

// Truth Two //

Your body doesn’t feel like yours, for a long time. For me? A year. Honestly. I felt like an alien feed-bag for the first few months. Your body is healing from a big event, and takes awhile to get back to working order. I feel like most new moms I talk to are surprised after that first three months end that they are still in leggings trying to figure out why their hair looks like that. 

It take time to heal, it won’t happen overnight, but I promise it happens. The other great thing that happened is in getting to this re-found me I took bigger steps to a healthier me. Both mentally and physically.

// Truth Three //

You will feel so powerful. You brought a life into this world. 

I suddenly felt so adult once I got my mojo back. Like I could pay a mortgage, pick our the right IRA, seduce a movie star and run a board room.  I never felt more like throwing my fist in the air and saying “I am woman hear me roar!!” Then some days I felt like a crazy person, but the general feeling is of power, promise.

// Truth Four //

Your relationships will change, but some for the better.

You will lose touch with friends, you will see a shift with your partner, and your work relationships will change…but it’s okay. Part of the beauty of motherhood is you are embracing a life change. Friends that are tried and true are there, they care about the feedings, they will laugh at your giant new underwear with your while you pump and dump that rosé , and at work you now have the title working mom.

Don’t mourn the lose of that self, your new one still kicks butt! I wish I could offer a guide on these but I am still navigating it myself. I will say this, I have reconnected with some great friends, I have a new found respect for my husband, and I also realized I had some negative relationships not worth holding on to. 

// Truth Five //

Your skin and hair are getting a makeover, you may love or hate it!

Luckily for me my skin did a 180 and became the skin I always wanted! I lucked out with pregnancy acne, even though I battled adult acne. The best push present, aside from baby, it stayed that way. My hair, took a longer trip south.

My hair is finally fully grown back, you get these whispy hairs that will drive you nuts, and I finally feel like it will be tamed! I tried 8 different shampoos postpartum to fight the limp dullness, finally I tried no-poo detox and I made it back to the other side! It still doesn’t dry quite the same, but hey it’s all good.

// Truth Six //

You will discover yourself, and be pretty amazed.

I never knew I could handle what I have handled the last two years. And what’s amazing is that I did it all with a smile. I realized that my stress was useless, I always worked it out, and found solutions. Why create a negative environment for my peanut when she is learning from my behavior. 

That’s not to say I didn’t have 3am I can’t do this breakdowns, I did have plenty and they were warranted, but I got up each morning to hug my child.

Life always goes on whether we allow it to or not. Don’t miss the precious time you have with your baby bonding worrying about dinner, bills, or work. That’s for adult time.

// Truth Seven //

You will breakdown, you are not superwoman.

This was the toughest for me to really learn. It took 1.5 years, really. My sister, who has a four month old is learning this lesson now. She is currently on vacation with her family and had to be hospitalized for severe dehydration and vomiting. When the doctor asked what she had to drink that day, it was later in the evening, she said a cup of coffee, orange juice and a small glass of water…that’s it! She had been busy breastfeeding, tending to the baby, doing beach activities with the family, she hadn’t taken a minute to realize she needed to take care of her body. Luckily it wasn’t anything some IV fluids couldn’t cure, but the lesson was priceless. You can’t do it all. Which brings the next truth…

// Truth Eight //

You will need lots of help, embrace it. 

The first few weeks of mommyhood I always responded ‘it’s great’, ‘we got this’, but really I wanted to pee without straining to hear cries, I wanted a nap SO BAD, I needed a big hug, but I felt some weird internal guilt. Finally I fell asleep while nursing, I woke up a second later and was horrified about the what-ifs. That morning I talked to my husband about what I needed from him, my mom came to visit, and when friends asked if I needed anything I said yes!

It really takes a village, it also makes a well-rounded child. Oh and there is the sanity!

// Truth Nine //

You will never know shame, ever.

You  sniff butts in public, google poop colors, spread eagle for more people than you can count, sing in Target at the top of your lungs, leave the house in pajamas, forget common knowledge, you may pee after laughing at a baby fart, and you will most definitely get peed on. Remember to laugh at it, life should be fun. 

// Truth Ten //

There will be dark days. 

One month after Harper was born we had to rush her to the hospital for an overnight stay. My husband was almost sedated and I didn’t sleep for three days. Those are the days you become a parent. They will test you, make you stronger parents, and people. I am happy to report Harper was fine, we are fine, and I we are moving forward.

Some days your child will punch you in the nose, laugh, and you will think how can I love something and want to yell at someone so badly?! Those are a different dark, but still just as challenging. 

They will happen, I don’t care what magic parent trick you have, they will. It’s how you react, and move on from those moments that matter. After the above mentioned punch, and a lesson on why we are nice with people (yes that was me getting socked by a two year old) I took a bath, lit my favorite candle and read a trashy magazine. It felt great, and I was able to let it go, no feelings of failure, but a funny parenting story to share at work!
Hopefully there was some use to what I mentioned above. There are so many more things I have learned from parenting that I book could never teach but I felt like a 100 hidden truths would be too hard to handle…also I need some sleep!

| doe and fawn // five minute face |


Sometimes I feel like having a toddler is a test to see how fast you can do something, cooking, showering, maybe even getting in and out of the fridge without a breakdown?! Getting myself presentable before a day out is no exception. Luckily I have figured out a pretty fast and easy mom friendly morning (or afternoon routine, no judgements) to help get the door and feel some what human.

If you are familiar with my other beauty posts, I am a fan of the all natural route with products. In the past few months I have also been taking a closer look at my cosmetics and been transitioning to brands that truly do not test on animals. I know it sounds hippie-dippy but we all have our stuff we care about and this is mine! 

So here we go!


I am a big advocate for moisturizing, maybe it’s my years as a teen trying my hardest to dry up every inch of my face, but I feel like I am constantly looking to see how I can quench my skin without sacrificing my finally clear skin! 

I always start with a toner to help balance my skin, currently loving…

Herbivore Botantials Sking Toning Elixir 

The next step is how you are hydrating your skin, I have a summer and winter one since my skin changes with the season!

Summer…

Mario Badescu Aloe Oil-free Moisturizer

Winter…

Herbivore Botanticals Lapis Oil

Your face is prepped and now it’s time to add some color…


Oh watch those little hands…


Okay I am a pretty low-maintenance gal, I love the effortless look, so it’s not a joke when I saw these are my everyday products I use. I will get fancy, but for trips to the park, a day at work, or chasing around a nugget this is all I need!

Correct…

Lush Colour Supplement

need a little extra coverage? Mix with your moisturizer for a more thorough coverage!

Cover and Set (in one)

Tarte Amazonian Clay Full Coverage Airbrush Foundation 

A little swipe to make your eyes pop! I have blonde lashes which makes this step a must! No matter what I skip a few swipes on the top lashes makes me feel like I can fake awake!

Eyeko Fat Brush Mascara

Time to rose your cheeks and dress those lips…

URB Apothecary Lips and Cheek Stain

That’s it! Keep feeing beautiful mamas!

| around here // toddler days |



There are some days I feel like I have this mama thing down, Super Mom sounds like a runner-up to my stellar performance. Then there are days, like today, when I have to be rescued by my husband while I wipe away tears in the bathroom…because you can’t let the enemy see you cry. 

Today started with our little toddler waking at 3am to try and climb out of her crib, then screaming at me till about 5am when after trying it all, she passed out in her bouncer. Don’t worry she woke at 7:30am, which gave use time to ease into the morning and get ready for her doctors appointment. The sun was shining and the day started looking up!

We were by my favorite cafe, Talula’s Daily, and I picked up a yummy beet salad and got Harper her first piece of zucchini bread. She ate the bread like someone on day 31 of Whole 30, and I soaked up the gorgeous sun and basked in my toddler giggles. She even fell asleep in the car on the way home, I couldn’t get over how this day has turned. Then…she woke up.

Screams for hours, refusal to eat, we got about 20 minutes of quiet with the start of Inside Out and crackers, but it didn’t last long. A trail of destruction was visible through out apartment, broken eggs, dug up plants, and over turned chairs. During this time we got a call that our car would not run without a hefty bill attached. I felt defeated, then my husband came home. 

My husband swept up my daughter, gave me a loving look and said you did great and then informed me he figured out how to finance the car and not sacrifice out little nest egg. Today was a day I realized these is no perfect mom, pictures capture the good for prosperity, and help is necessary. Morale of the story, toddlers are tough, motherhood is a tough job, and sometimes you can experience it all in one day!

Mama needs a drink, massage and a 12 hour nap!

| mama musings // just breathe |


Today I woke up and felt heavy, full of doubt in the life decisions I was making, fear in starting a new chapter with our family and confusion in how did I end up here?! Talking Heads anyone, “how did I get here?”

Okay so I know I am not the first working mother to wake up one day and feel completely defeated, but I also know how difficult it can be to talk about. Heck, it’s even difficult without kids. Adult life, it’s tough. It’s how we handle it that can help you avoid being completely devoured by these feelings of anxiety. Funny story, it’s actually becoming a mother that has helped me find a new perspective, and really a new way to conquer these feelings.

I wish I could give a step-by-step solution but I have devised a way to take a step back and try to survive these feelings.

// breathe //

Have you ever noticed that when you get really overwhelmed your whole body can freeze, and your mind goes at such a speed you forget to breathe. You forget to do something your body normally does without thinking!

This morning when I opened my eyes I immediately felt the heaviness of my thoughts of self-doubt “what am I doing? Can I really do this?” This first thing I did was sit up, close my eyes, breathe in slowly through my nose feeling the air fill every millimeter of lungs, then opened my eyes and slowly exhaled. 

My doubts were still there but my mind had calmed and I could start the day thinking clearly.

// change //

I don’t mean change your hair color and good things will come professionally, I mean looking at what your problem you have really is and ask yourself “what can I change today? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year?” 

Great example, I remember talking to husband about feeling frustrated professionally because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled creatively at work. Instead of sitting down and finding a solution I let myself feel less than, like something was lacking. Then my husband said “you need a hobby, something to make you fill that void.”

So then this blog started, I started an Instagram account, and I started working towards a professional goal; to open my own store. I always talked about wanting it, but wasn’t changing my direction towards it. It’s still very far away, but I am hoping in the next month or so to have an Etsy store started to begin testing out my concept…and guess what guys it has me very excited. 

Scared, but excited!

// let go //

The past is in the past, the future is in the future, but today is the only thing that is happening. Having to learn to let go of mistakes I have made, regrets I might have and just be present each day. 

Some days you aren’t going to get something done, instead your daughter will want nothing more than to draw, and throw toys and want to sit in your lap. And guys…that’s okay! 

Do you remember all the laundry your mom didn’t do, the dinners that weren’t crafted or the parenting books that weren’t read? NO! You remember the times your mom, or parent, was there. I want Harper to understand that everything has its time and place, but I want her to remember all the fun and laughs!

// list it //

Baby, when all else fails, make a list. I keep a notebook with me at all times for this purpose. Feeling overwhelmed? Write down what you have to do, and start attacking that list one by one. With every check you will feel lighter and lighter. Ever notice how you can spend more time worrying about what you need to do then actually doing it? It’s amazing what your mind can trick you into wasting time on!

// relax and connect //

Life shouldn’t be so serious, and sometimes we need to sit down with the ones we love and just focus on spending time with each other. It’s a way to realize you have support, get advice, laugh your troubles away and feel like you aren’t alone.

This has been the hardest part for me because I don’t have the same support system that I have had in other cities I have lived in. My husband has to be so much to me, and he does his best, but I know we are working towards getting this part in a better spot.
Stress will always be there, and I know I will feel swallowed by it many times, but I will cope with it. I will not let it weigh me down or keep me from my goals! PHEW! Feeling better already!

| doe and fawn // mama beauty |

    

Becoming a mom, wow talk about changes and one of the biggest changes that I have experienced have been my skin and hair. Now, a year and a half later, I am settling into a much healthier routine and sadly after 31 years of existence am finally learning how to take care of my skin. Like most new mothers, I have felt an overwhelming sense to cleanse my cleansing process, and have really started looking at what I am putting everyday on my body’s largest organ. I have to admit I am not perfect and make no claims to being an expert, but I have fallen in love with my new found regimen.

 I am still looking to add a few more steps, but haven’t found the perfect product yet…side note: reccommendations encouraged! Next up will be my makeup routine, but for now here’s what’s hiding in my medicine cabinet!

  

wash // bamboo charcoal cleansing bar 

brush // clarisonic 

tone // rose petal witch hazel

scrub // pink clay exfoliating mask 

clear // anti-acne serum

Charcoal, it’s so hot right now! Not only does this magic ingredient cleanse but helps draw out toxins, which for the girl who has always battled with skin ickiness this is just what you want on your side. With a little extra help from my clarisonic , I feel like I am starting with the cleanest skin. Finishing up with the soothing rose petal toner, I mean yummmmmmm. Twice a week I get a little extra exfoliating to help boost the absorption of my oils and serums. For those days when you have a little red uninvited friend this magic serum helps put them in their place!

  
even // hyaluronic + vitamin C serum

balance // lapis facial oil

recover // midnight recovery concentrate

moisturize // seaweed night cream

I have fallen for oils and serums, I am new into this world but I am down the rabbit hole and looking for more to explore. Next on my wish list is an oil cleanser, any suggestions? What’s amazing about oil is that contrary to old school belief, your skin begs for it! When you dry your skin to a raisin trying to fight oil your skins reaction is to go into an oil overdrive. Utilizing different oils helps balance your skins natural oil production and can actually fight flare ups. I am still on the look out just for something a little lighter  for the day and a more concentrated eye cream to help with a few pesky lines that have popped up.