mama musing // Fall must-haves

Deep into the 10×10 Fall challenge and while I have more to come on that, it’s been something I have been wanting to try. I am guilty of being a total consumer, and really trying to be a fiscally responsible adult (yuck) has made me look at making conscious choices about what purchases I make.

Combined with trying to plan and make smarter purchases, I am also trying to be smarter about supporting smaller businesses, ethically sound companies that reflect my values.

That being said, here is my limited Fall/Winter must-haves…which I will probably only end up having a few of these pieces, but that’s part of the fun!

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one :: Rawson Vintage Overdye Twill Pants

two :: Madewell Corduroy Belted Jumpsuit

three :: Madewell Bonded Sherpa Cocoon Jacket

four :: General Store Mari Giuducelli Classic Boot

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one :: DÔEN Annie Top

two :: FOUND Clary Balm

three :: Rawrson Vintage Almond Overdye Chore Jacket

four :: General Store No 6 Shearling Clog

mama musing // mental health

Through my life anxiety has always been a constant, it wasn’t until my 30s that I realized that it was something as big as it was. For the past 20 years I have let anxiety creep into, and affect my life.

Anxiety is no joke, depression and anger can get triggered when you start to think, “hey, what’s wrong with me?! Why can’t I just be normal?” I have always wanted to share this, almost as a disclaimer for anyone who has known me, but always hesitated at being that vulnerable. But after this week, I didn’t feel right not putting what has been so hard for me into words.

Really I want to start by saying I am sharing my story, not diagnosing, suggesting treatments, but just sharing how I finally feel. In my 30s I am figuring out my anxiety. I wanted to share it as a part of my journey, because with anxiety and depression, your head can be a terrifying place. I have found that writing out my thoughts and emotions helps me to understand them, and as my doctor suggests, recognize what triggers my anxiety, recognize what those emotions feel like so I can work through them, instead of being paralyzed by them.

My anxiety has ruled my life for so long, and it has not been until I had my daughter that I really was able to give my greatest demon a name. I also was diagnosed with a MTHFR gene mutation shortly before my pregnancy that, among one of its many talents, can cause a feeling of anxiety and depression.

My anxiety hindered my ability to enjoy social settings, but the worst of it was high school/college and after the birth of my daughter.

When I was in high school I had such a debilitating loneliness, and anxiety of fitting in that I almost hid from social settings. It lead to feelings of inadequacy about my appearance, which formed into a need to hyper-control food, that toed the line of a disorder. It’s the anxiety that ruled my first relationship that stretched the end of high school and through all my years of college. It lived in my friendships.

It was the anxiety that lead me to end that relationship because I was sure that the loneliness that came from my anxiety something I was lacking. I was also going through some health issues that heightened that anxiety. I was to the point that I would count the minutes at a restaurant, sweating, praying, that I made it to the end of a meal without being ill. I was scared to be anywhere but my house.

Even recounting these times, brings me flashbacks of how incredibly overwhelming those feeling were. Wondering if I could really go on. My mid-twenties were incredibly fun, but full of sadness. I blamed my anxiety on my long relationship, but I know now I was trying to blame it on something other than myself, I wasn’t ready to admit it was me. I was scared. I ran away to Philly, of course acting as though it was a big strong decision, I thought I could will my anxiety away.

Some good came of this, I got to see that I could survive out of my comfort zone. I developed a confidence I was missing, but once the new and shiny wore off, my anxiety was still there. Feeling lonely, anxious and self-doubt. In this time I got married and lead me to my most recent occasion where my anxiety nearly flattened me, the birth of my daughter.

I had a pretty easy pregnancy, with the exception of my 1st trimester which was incredibly emotional. I was taking a folic acid supplement, on recommendation from my doctor, and suffering wild fits of severe sadness and anxiety. Mix these feelings with a hard time at work and I was a mess. I soon found out folic acid was one of those MTHFR triggers of anxiety. I quickly stopped taking my supplement, and aside from the normal new mom jitters I felt good. It was the Postpartum Anxiety that I was not prepared for.

I thought my anxiety was something I had grown out of, but lack of sleep and losing the ownership of my body to a small human was crippling. I found myself scheduling mommy and me yogas and panicking outside the class refusing to go in. I would be so tired and sure that I was failing as a mother that I would look at my daughter and apologize for my weakness.

Through all these years, through all these experiences I said nothing. I wasn’t until the fog of the fourth trimester lifted, that I began to recognize what I was struggling and what had been there all along.

I finally opened up to my husband, explained the what I had been feeling. I am still not sure I have told anyone the worst of it, but I am still getting there. He has helped me see that what I am experiencing is not just a phase, or that I am just off, that there is something I can’t control that is affecting my life.

I have found that through seeing my daughter grow up, and seeing her intense love for me, that I want to be proactive about taking care of my mental health. I have found in motherhood, that time goes so fast and this little life I am helping shape is a sponge of emotions around her.

I am in a more open and honest relationship with my doctor, after a 4 hour anxiety attack I knew I needed professional help. I have also found that not being afraid to verbalize my anxiety and share with those around me has helped calm my mind during attacks. Seeing and hearing that I am not alone, has been amazing. Surprisingly social media has brought me to a world of women whose openness and honesty with their own struggles has helped me feel less alone.

I am learning to manage, I am lucky that through all of this I had people who loved and supported me. I am lucky that there was always someone there. I am sad to think that there are people who can’t find their way out, and it’s heartbreaking to hear suicide is their only means to end their pain.

I guess through all of this ramblingI want to say that if you feel this way your are not alone. I also do not want to hide that in these times there were great moments of happiness and love, that’s the scary part of anxiety.

I am feeling more prepared to move forward and find balance. If you are unable to find that, or still feel like there is too much darkness, please reach out to someone. The National Suicide Hotline is there 1-800-273-8255.

| mama musing // shopping list |

Anyone else have a mountain of wishlists scattered around the inter-webs? I love shopping and wanted to share my favorite places.

For those of you who have followed along with Doe and Fawn you know I love a good little shop that supports lovely women. I have compiled a shopping list featuring some beautiful shops and brands. 

I would love to grow this list, where are your favorite places to shop?

Local Love // Columbus


Splendor Revival

 

Rowe 


Jewelweed


Under Aurora

Local Love // Philadelphia 


Moon and Arrow

 

Meadowsweet Merchantile 


 Vagabond Boutique 

Mama Owned //


Found Company


Rudy Jude Co


Commune Folk 


Apples and Forts


Bohème Goods

I Feel Pretty 

I have always been a firm believer that your skin is something that is the base to any good style. Over the past few years I have strived to move to a more natural and more importantly cruelty-free skin routine.

 

Glossier

 

Urb Apothecary

Cool Mama //

For those of us whose mom uniform has no leggings in sight, at least outside of the house. 

 

Christy Dawn

 

Dôen


Worn Collective

Right now they are just for little ones but they have a line for mamas on the way and I can only imagine! 

 

The Bee and The Fox 

| mama musings // summer sun |

It’s still January and the grey days have kicked in. There are a few ways I survive January; lots of bubble baths, countless cups of tea, hours of cuddles, and plotting out my warm weather wishlist. This year I have the shop so I  am also getting my inspiration swirling for a little Spring | Summer shopping. 

Old San Juan

We are visiting in May and this mama is just a touch excited…like I have already ordered the perfect beach dress from Cleobella and am packing in my head as we speak.

Cuddles

Time outside and time with bae.

All white, all attitude

Really been thinking about white jeans this summer, but with a rocker twist.

Me time

Really any element from here will do. I will take the bubble now…

Perfectly cropped

I think this might be my new favorite hem. 

Become a garden gnome 

I am looking forward to our own home in Spring and my own space to escape to. 

All day every day

The new uniform, and I just snagged the perfect Ulla Johnson top of my dreams. Wait it’s like I forgot I have a two year old who uses my shoulder as a hanky. Note to self; get good dry cleaner.

And slide, and slide

Really? Laces? Who has time. 

Salt Flats, Puerto Rico

I am excited can you tell? Also when somewhere boasts your eternal color palette you go. 

Siesta

The joys of sleeping in the shade are highly undervalued. 

The perfect blouse 

Doén is my summer vibes in Spring, Fall and even Winter.

To market 

Finally get out and explore those glorious Mid-West markets. 

Stop and smell the roses 

Above all enjoy it, savor it, cherish it. Out time is short here, why not make the most.

Follow along with us on Pinterest, or as we call it a mood board without the hassles of scissors, paper or pins!

| mama musing // 5 ways to curve toddler tantrums |


We have all been there, you are having a perfectly lovely afternoon and then the stars shift and you are left with a scene from theExorcist. I love my daughter but the tantrums can make me check for a return to sender label. I have come up with a pretty tried and true set of 5 ways to deter those tantrums before they really take off!

Now I should say I am not a childcare expert, I have not written a book, but I am a mom who has read many books. My favorite series has been the Happiest Baby/Toddler on the Block books! I really can’t back these books enough, and no I just love them that much…that I buy one for every person who has a baby. 
// Rule One //

Take a deep breath.

It’s really scary to see your child freak out. It’s been described as your child reverting to a caveman brain. Logic does not exist and you can not let it get you down. My daughter always seems to feed off my energy and tone. I can always seem to get a quicker end the calmer I stay.

// Rule Two //

Talk it out.

The great thing about toddlers is they can talk! I mean I miss baby time but there is something to being able to communicate with your little one, especially during meltdown time! 

I always ask to have Harper to identify what emotion she is feeling. “Are you sad? Are you scared? Are you mad?” This can usually get me down the road to remedying the problem. By having her identify how she is feeling I can get back on the road to normal.

We start to talk about what she needs to feel better, and I talk about what is feasible. Sometimes that green crayon can’t be red. Sorry kid, life is tough.

// Rule Three //

Being a master of illusion is key.

What?! Where did these crayons come from? Did you know I have goldfish? Sometimes a simple distraction brings a 180 faster than you can imagine. 

Growing up my mom always carried an aresenal in her purse, but guess what, I was never bored! I always carry a snack, a book, a crayon and a small toy. I can’t always remember the diaper bag so this way I am always prepared.

// Rule Four //

Know your little one’s triggers.

At this point we are pretty much best friends with our toddlers. Through thick and thin we can finish each other’s sentences. We also know what can get our toddler up on arms. If you know your hungry toddler turns into an angry Hulk, maybe don’t skip snack time. 

I know that my girl gets antsy if she is in one place too long. Movement and change is key, sometimes a simple “want to sit on my lap now?” works wonders!

// Rule Five //

When in doubt hug it out, and take a selfie.

Sometimes your toddler has hit a spiral no mountain of toys, distractions, or snacks can get your toddler out of. When all else fails a big hug can tell your little one that you are there for them through whatever. Their tantrums can be scary and very real, knowing that someone is there can be reassuring. Then, once the tears have dried. Snap some pictures, have some laughs, and move one to your next adventure!

| mama musing // baby it’s cold outside |

Christmas is less than three sleeps away, the temps have dropped into the teens and this mama is dreading entering the black hole of dressing known as January and February. At this point I have usually thrown in the towel and just stare at my closet looking lost and confused.

This year I have been determined to avoid this rut by building my winter wardrobe with easy layers, neutral colors and cozy fabrics. As always a little inspiration to help avoid that mid-season fashion drought when Spring is around the corner but going outside feels like an icey endeavor!


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all images via Pinterest! Check it out if you love bohemeniam mamas, cute pictures of babies, dreamy minimal interiors and all the plants you could ever forget to water!

| mama musing // wallpaper |

// left to right //

1. decoist 2. 100 Layer Cakelet 


// left to right //

1. little hands illustration 2. chanel bags and cigarette drags 3. decoist 4. domino

Growing up I remember always being excited when we would move because my mom would take my sister and I to go pick out our very own wallpaper for our rooms. We were children of the eighties, sue me! Lately I have been falling back in love with beautifully designed wallpaper, with a modern twist of course.

Since our little trip to the shore and seeing the breathtaking shibori inspired restaurant wall I have been pinning my heart out to get inspiration for our soon (hopefully) forever home!

Check out more of my interior obsessions here

| mama musings // embroidered jackets |

It may be a million degrees out but my eyes are looking ahead to Fall. Call it a symptom of working in retail that by the time the weather has settled into one season you are looking ahead to what is next! I always have my little new season wish list, as I am trying to be more minimal in my wardrobe I kept my list to only 5 items. Top of the list? Embroidered jacket! I picture it with a pair of vintage Levis, tall heeled boot and a great crisp top. 

I know, I am trying to be good and then straight off of the list with a super trendy item but the Grease lover in me needs it. Obviously I have a slight denim addiction so I am working on upgrading one of my vintage jackets, but after much hunting found an awesome little jacket that didn’t break the bank. Sadly it seems I wasn’t the only person on the hunt since it seems to have sold out at Zara pretty fast. So here’s a little jacket porn to get you dreaming of Fall!

// left to right //

One. Two. Three. Four.

Follow along on Pinterest

| mama musings // last days of summer |

Being a child of the mid-west I have grown up always anticipating the next season. August means it is time to grab those sweaters and get your winter jacket on stand-by, but when it’s nature’s sauna out all you can do it wear that same wispy dress everyday. Yup, it’s a style rut, happens to the best of us. August is here, which leaves us at that weird time when we have made our way through our closets at least 6 times, stores are transitioning into Fall, the September issues are just around the corner, and it 95 degrees out with 100% humidity. I don’t know abo anyone else but this time of year makes me look at my closet with a look of confusion and and fear…what do I wear?

Here are some looks that have this mama loving those last days of summer and  dreaming of Fall beginnings.

Left to right:

one // two // three // four


  Left to right:

one // two // three