| twenty-five // fifty-two |

Because I am still trying to understand how I will eventually explain all this hate to her. How I will explain people acting in violence towards one another. How I will explain that even though we have come so far there is still so much hatred based on prejudices and fear. 

These last few weeks have been a hard one to face. I still am unsure how to process all that keeps happening both at home and overseas. We like to think as parents we are making a better generation, a generation that won’t experience violence and hate but yet it continues. 

When I found out I was pregnant my first goal as a parent was that my daughter was happy with herself and good to others. I know what you might think, isn’t that everyone’s goal?! But hate is something that’s taught. Not that hate is only taught by parents, friends, media, other’s actions can breed hatred. My goal is to teach Harper how to process and rise above those feelings. Maybe she doesn’t understand or agree but tries to accept and forgive. 

I remember growing up and being told that I was dumb because I was blonde, that I couldn’t do something well because I was a women. These are not things that hinder my ability to do something, unless it’s having a penis or being brunette without a bottle. None of this makes me a certain type of person. None of this comes close to understanding the racism or prejudice that has been shown these last few weeks, but it’s even small ideas like these that lay the groundwork for hate and misunderstandings to grow. 

We are all guilty of judging someone on appearance, not taking the time to understand someone’s situation or point of view. We may be quick to judge, jump to conclusions, and reach verdicts too swiftly. 

I wish I could make this all go away and few more like a PBS show where everyone celebrates their differences and takes the time to respect and love one another. I hope that one day o can explain how out of all the hate, love and understanding was able to grow. A mama can dream. 

Yesterday we had our sitter snap a few photos as I left for work, I shouldn’t love the one of her crying but her fear of me leaving makes my heart melt! She asked to wear her Batman shirt and we took advantage of mom’s late start time at work to set up an official potty training regime. After three accidents on Friday we realize we can’t fight it anymore. Any potty training tips for a painless, and mess-free, transition from diapers? Anyone? Or am I wishing for a magical unicorn that farts rainbows?

// naughty behavior //

This girl, while wearing pants, removed her diaper, squared on the floor and peed. I should mention it was right in front of my husband. She also pooped in her bed after removing her entire bottoms. And then peed all over herself at bedtime. It’s not so much naughty as her begin for potty training. We were hopping to make it till our move but this girl is just moving to fast!

// I think I heard …//

I think I heard I love you. I mean I feel like 99% sure I heard it!

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